Last night we had a fun play night at a friends house. For some reason hubby could not get me to fully cum, I couldn't figure it out. I had to get out a toy to finish myself off. We were in the bathroom and all of the sudden I started crying, then full out balling. Hubby did not know why I was crying, and at that second I could not talk. So he laid there on the bathroom floor holding me while I cried. Then I finally I could talk, and I told him that I was crying due to a hugely emotional release. Because of my medication, I haven't really been able to cry from the break-up. I still love him, and probably always will. The fact that he doesn't ever want to talk to me again, is what really hurts. The lies and the avoidance are what made this so damn hard.
Today I am just feeling numb again. I just want to sleep all day, and do nothing for days. I hate feeling numb. but I guess it is better than being fully depressed.
I am nervous, Tomorrow a friend is coming over to visit from Colorado for a day, she dropped someone off in Savannah. Ex has been basically living with her and her husband. It wasn't until he was with them all the time, that things went really bad with ex and I. Another thing is last I knew he was not really interested in the BDSM lifestyle, and all of the sudden he turns sadist. Not really sure WTF is up with that. I do not think that this friend is being honest with me about him and all his BS.
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