Christmas, Trust, and Issues.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Fun news and difficult trials

Well My boy proposed to me on our vacation this last September in North Carolina on the OBX. He did it at sunrise with my husband there, on the beach. It was beautiful! He had asked my husbands permission like my husband asked my father. Not that I am viewing myself as owned by these men which is the historical significance to the permission asking, but that I show it as a sign of respect and that they honor the approval of the one that came before them. He proposed with a peridot (faux) toe ring. I love it, however it wasn't the best quality. He wanted to get a much better one but he didn't have the money before vacation.

other than the good news we have been having a problem my boy injured himself at work and was then the first to be laid off. Well because his back is on fire all the time, we have not had a chance to truly have play sessions. I have now seen the in person effect of non-play on a true submissive. He has become bratty and bitchy. Well I keep him in line mostly, but he has a bit of trouble keeping in line when there is not a regular play time whether beating or sessioning or training. But some of those are almost impossible to do when your submissive is not in a physical condition to do much. Hopefully we can get him to a doctor soon, as he has no insurance. Well hopefully he will be back to his normal and fully submissive self soon.

We finally got a new house it is on 3 acres, and in the back is a huge barn which is three times the size of the local play space. It is going to take a lot of money and time to fix it but we have gotten a lot of volunteers to help out with making it an operational space. suspension, wax, crosses, all kinds.

Well on the front of poly, hubby and I are very happy with our third. We love him, and really enjoy having him as a part of the family. I am truly blessed! Oh and btw, I am going to be starting my Masters in Psychology and then my PhD in the same, I am wanting to be a poly, kink, family, and PTSD counselor, so wish me luck!

Do I have a sign on my forehead?

Lately I have had a very weird couple of months, a lot of people have come back into my life randomly. I think this is odd because of the fact that I am finally and entirely happy. Three ex boyfriends, 3 ex submissives (one formerly collared) and 4 former lovers. WTFH? Is all I can say.... most have come back begging to be in my life. Others are just trying to find that lost connection. I don't get it. They either broke my heart or stopped talking to me, now they want me back? They dated, or played with someone else, realized what they were missing out on and came slithering back.

It feels to me that the world knows I am happy and wants to do whatever it can to fuck it up. It has happened in the past, but not like this.

One of the ex bfs and I started talking and all was good, he knew about the current bf from first notice. Then all of the sudden he kept dwelling on the "omg she will never be a part of my life again" thing and my having a bf. He was one of the ones that just felt he didn't have time for me anymore, and slowly piddled out of my life. I am not going to wait around for you to get your balls back and have time for me again.

Troubles with the Past

So as you my readers know, the female submissive did not work out. Yet is still creating issues in my life. Her and my husband are still good friends. I know that her supposed excuse for never talking to me again is that she cuts all ties with former Dominants. However her immaturity on the way she went about it was wrong. She claimed that she couldn't be friends with anyone that lied to her, yet some of her friends have lied to her in the past, and worse. And yet she still talks to them and trusts them in times of conflict. So if I would have been meaner, or more abusive she might still be talking to me. It saddens me that even though things didn't work out, I treated her with all the respect in the world, and yet she cannot even acknowledge me at a community event we are both at.

Also I have had several blasts from my past resurface. My ex-boyfriend (most recent) and I decided to become civil, as our break up was bullshit. I knew he was not poly from the very start and said "I understand if you find someone else, all you need to do is just let me know". He decided to cheat on me and string me along then break up with me once I was across the country. I have missed him as a friend and was bitter about it because he is beloved by all my close friends back home.

Two of my other exs both want me back but are upset at the fact that I have a boyfriend that is more reliable, and has a better relationship with me. I don't mind staying friends but the current bf should not be all we talk about. So one of them I stopped talking to because he was pissing me off, by solely talking about my current.

So needless to say the past is haunting me and I wish I could just be a bitch about it all to people but my biggest flaw is I tend to be too nice, to damned caring about everyone.

A New Road.

So it has been way too long since I have blogged here. Since my last blog the situations have changed. Things are still going pretty well with my hubby. I have since released my submissive girl, we together came to the conclusion that her preference for women, and my preference is men would affect our relationship negatively. We have come to be friends.

Now, during the process of finding a submissive to play with I too found a boyfriend, killing two birds with one stone. Him and I met unexpectedly through a not so reliable BDSM website. We started talking and realized that we had a lot if not all our fetishes in common. We had decided to meet and see how things would go. It was like a first date but D/s we both had butterflies, and were excited. He was getting kicked out of his moms place, because she needed the room for her dad to move in so she could take care of him. So I offered for him to crash at my house while he looked for a new job. He slept on the floor by the side of my bed, Which I loved. So it has been way too long since I have blogged here. Since my last blog the situations have changed. Things are still going pretty well with my hubby. I have since released my submissive girl, we together came to the conclusion that her preference for women, and my preference is men would affect our relationship negatively. We have come to be friends.

Now, during the process of finding a submissive to play with I too found a boyfriend, killing two birds with one stone. Him and I met unexpectedly through a not so reliable BDSM website. We started talking and realized that we had a lot if not all our fetishes in common. We had decided to meet and see how things would go. It was like a first date but D/s we both had butterflies, and were excited. He was getting kicked out of his moms place, because she needed the room for her dad to move in so she could take care of him. So I offered for him to crash at my house while he looked for a new job. He slept on the floor by the side of my bed, Which I loved.

There was a lot of tension in the house as I had a submissive girl already living with us. She is no longer in the house, because of a difference of requirements of a D/s household and relationship. We had a lot of issues with jealousy, time requirements, attention lacking, and what not. A lot of Drama. However things were civil between her and the family, we tried to salvage a friendship however the age difference, and sex similarity put stress on it.

He has been living with us for about 4 months. He has not started his training yet, because of all the drama as well as his work is m-f sometimes sat 6am till 6 pm. so Our time is very limited. We are getting ready to start his training either this weekend or next. I am very much looking forward to it.